The Parable of the Prodigal Po - Part 3

Read up on the history of the Helkpii. This is where the legends are told.

The Parable of the Prodigal Po - Part 3

Postby Ckosh » Fri Sep 26, 2008 2:04 pm

The Parable of the Prodigal Po (possibly partially plagiarised and maybe "blaspomous")

The crowds gathered around the venerable old druid. He had seen and heard many things and felt it was his duty to pass on his knowledge to the younger calves.
He proceeded to tell his story:

"There was a clan who had 10 sons. One had much more advanced equipment than the others. His name was Hëlkpo. One day he said to his family, 'Screw you guys – I’m going to Black Temple'.

Not long after that, he got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. One night Zul’Aman another night drinking and drugs and cow porn.

After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. So he went and hired himself out to the guilds of that country, who, instead of laughing, Helking and screaming obscenities, sent him to their fields to feed pigs.

He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one in those guild gave him anything to eat or enjoy.
When he came to his senses, he said, 'How many of the Helkpii have food and laughs to spare, and here I am starving to death! Even the Helkpii hired hands have laughs and food. I will set out and go back to HELKPO and say to them: Helkpii, I have sinned against HELKPO and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called a Helkpo; make me like one of your hired men”.
So he got up and went to HELKPO.

But while he was still a long way off, the Helkpii saw him and were filled with compassion for him and cow love. They ran to Hëlkpo and threw their arms around him and kissed him.

Hëlkpo said to them, 'HELKPO, I have sinned against HELKPO and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called Hëlkpo'
But the Helkpii said to their Barov servants, 'Quick Barov servants! Bring the best Brewfest robe and put it on him. Put a welfare epic on his person and L21HR. Bring the fattened felsteel boar and kill it. Let's have a feast and celebrate. For this Hëlkpo of ours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.'

So they began to celebrate, and screamed and ran like little girls.

Meanwhile, another son, Helkpoh, was in the field, not going to Karazhan as usual. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing. So he called one of the Barov servants and wrote on a piece of paper “What is going on?”
'Your brother has come,' he replied, 'and your family have killed the fattened felsteel boar because he has him back safe and sound.'

+H became angry and refused to go in. So Helkpo went out and pleaded with him. This took a while due to the severe disabilities of +H, but he answered Helkpo, 'Look! All these days I've been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. I have even learned to retrap! Yet you never gave me even a mana remnant so I could celebrate with my friends.

“Friends? What friends?” said Helkpo

+H continued, “But when this son of yours who has squandered our property with prostitutes and lines of blood comes home, you kill the fattened felsteel boar for him!'

'My brother,' Helkpo said, 'you are always with me, and all my gifts of the wild are yours. But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.' "

Helkpoh understood, and went back to cleaning out the pigsty.
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Re: The Parable of the Prodigal Po

Postby Lassy » Sat Sep 27, 2008 12:14 am

This

Hëlkpo said to them, 'HELKPO, I have sinned against HELKPO and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called Hëlkpo'
But the Helkpii said to their Barov servants, 'Quick Barov servants! Bring the best Brewfest robe and put it on him. Put a welfare epic on his person and L21HR. Bring the fattened felsteel boar and kill it. Let's have a feast and celebrate. For this Hëlkpo of ours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.'

So they began to celebrate, and screamed and ran like little girls.

Meanwhile, another son, Helkpoh, was in the field, not going to Karazhan as usual. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing. So he called one of the Barov servants and wrote on a piece of paper “What is going on?”
'Your brother has come,' he replied, 'and your family have killed the fattened felsteel boar because he has him back safe and sound.'

+H became angry and refused to go in. So Helkpo went out and pleaded with him. This took a while due to the severe disabilities of +H, but he answered Helkpo, 'Look! All these days I've been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. I have even learned to retrap! Yet you never gave me even a mana remnant so I could celebrate with my friends.

“Friends? What friends?” said Helkpo

+H continued, “But when this son of yours who has squandered our property with prostitutes and lines of blood comes home, you kill the fattened felsteel boar for him!'

'My brother,' Helkpo said, 'you are always with me, and all my gifts of the wild are yours. But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.' "

Helkpoh understood, and went back to cleaning out the pigsty.



Is pure win.


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Re: The Parable of the Prodigal Po

Postby Ckosh » Sat Sep 27, 2008 9:13 am

If there is a God, he would find this funny

I am fucking loving writing this shit - it's a shame I will only every have a reader base of 5
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Re: The Parable of the Prodigal Po

Postby Trashy » Sat Sep 27, 2008 10:29 am

post links and stories here
http://www.worldofwar.net/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=33
http://www.fanfiction.net/game/Warcraft/

and that's just from googling, that first one has a mighty lot of posts. Nao QQ less
Ckosh wrote:You fucking cunt........
YOU TOTAL BASTARD.. Ok You Win ... Whellll Donez.

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Re: The Parable of the Prodigal Po

Postby Ckosh » Sat Sep 27, 2008 10:40 am

Oh i know it all exists - but only 5 of you lot will ever get the jokes.
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Re: The Parable of the Prodigal Po

Postby Arli » Mon Sep 29, 2008 12:24 pm

I love the stories - keep writing. Since discovering WoW this is the closest I get to classic literature.
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Re: The Parable of the Prodigal Po - Part 3

Postby Drahenfels » Thu May 05, 2011 11:56 am

Since (I not-so-humbly think) It's about me, I thought I give it a quick refresh and drop a note- fucking awesome, good, old times (dramatic - sponsored by me- as well; but that makes it epic, innit? ;) ) !

Nice to see you'll all still around, as well as this owning forum (or rather its skin?)!... and my forum acc.

Greetz from PL, 6-months-WoW-free Drahen.

PS. Do I still fail a lot, or there is no previous parts? :)
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Re: The Parable of the Prodigal Po - Part 3

Postby Ckosh » Thu May 05, 2011 12:01 pm

Blooooooody ell.... Drah!

Lo there!

I guess you still fail. Don't need a story to prove that :P
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Re: The Parable of the Prodigal Po - Part 3

Postby Tohya » Thu May 05, 2011 12:02 pm

I'll never forget you, you crazy drunk
Now: GW2
tohya po 80 norn guardian cooking 400 jeweling 400
soiled po 80 sylvari ranger huntsman 446 weaponsmith 500
emilia thorpe 80 human warrior armoursmith 500 artificer 223
myni po 43 asura engineer leatherworking 456

orken po 49 charr necromancer tailor 445

Then: WoW
tohya tinisthala junpei
rinnadin erika erunta honeyb
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Re: The Parable of the Prodigal Po - Part 3

Postby Drahenfels » Thu May 05, 2011 12:07 pm

I'm not a drunk! *literally reaches for beer now* And I'm not crazy! *literally tosses his turtle on the bed, upside down with 'suffer' look in his eyes!*

How's the most... erhm... original crew in WoW holdin? I've been hacked day after christmas eve, all is gone, dooooooom I tell you, DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! (but not the 3rd part, it sucked)
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Re: The Parable of the Prodigal Po - Part 3

Postby Drahenfels » Thu May 05, 2011 12:08 pm

Oh and I sent requests on Facebook, hope I can stil get an honorary (is that the right spelling?) membership! :)
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Re: The Parable of the Prodigal Po - Part 3

Postby Tohya » Thu May 05, 2011 12:13 pm

I haven't been playing for a while :(

Damn, a beer sounds good though...
Now: GW2
tohya po 80 norn guardian cooking 400 jeweling 400
soiled po 80 sylvari ranger huntsman 446 weaponsmith 500
emilia thorpe 80 human warrior armoursmith 500 artificer 223
myni po 43 asura engineer leatherworking 456

orken po 49 charr necromancer tailor 445

Then: WoW
tohya tinisthala junpei
rinnadin erika erunta honeyb
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Joined: Mon Jun 02, 2008 12:09 pm
Location: Home is where the beer is.

Re: The Parable of the Prodigal Po - Part 3

Postby Drahenfels » Thu May 05, 2011 12:20 pm

Yeah, tell me about it... I got hacked 27.12.2010 or something around that, wrote 4-5 mails to blizz, no respond, so I decided to not pay bastards, we all know why :/

But seconds after writing here I literally felt so more alive and... want to come back badly (Kovacs propably sharpening the knife atm;) ). Well, I'll just go silently to a corner and hope it'll pass ;)
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